attire run bike swim

introducing the tornado running short?

June 14, 2013

Wondering what guys are running in this summer.

This winter I ran through the streets of Boston in an Adidas running tight. Specifically, the Adidas techfit™ Preparation Long Tights. I found these tights gave me a lot of support especially around the hamstrings and they also kept me super warm–which is important when it’s below freezing.1029763262_260

Here’s the thing… I’ve gotten really used to running in something other than a traditional running short.

For years I’ve seen women running in a boy-short, and I’ve recently started to see a trend with more guys transitioning into a longer tight running short. Think: a combination of a compression under layer and a bike short without the padding.

I’m just the type of runner that doesn’t want to be burdened with a lot of extra shit on me. I don’t want a water bottle/fanny pack. I don’t want my phone strapped to my arm. I don’t want a big baggy floppy t-shirt. Now that I’ve been running in tights I really don’t want to run with my junk bouncing all over the place–evah. I CAN’T GO BACK. It’s inconceivable for me to even imagine running in something where the boys are jingle-jangling all the way.

I would love to run in a minimal trunk-style boy-short but I am not sure this even exists for dudes.

Runner’s World, my favorite running magazine, regular features women on the cover in running boy-shorts and guys wearing what looks like basic compression shorts, maybe on the longer side.


Thoughts on this? Is it finding the right combination of form and function? Run in what feels right?

Don’t laugh, but last month I actually ran a 5k in Cambridge in a Nike boy short swim suit just to see how it would work out. (OK, go ahead and laugh.) It was an evening race and earlier in the day it had been in the low-70’s. The temperature dropped by about 25 degrees so I was not exactly warm. It was also, thankfully, kind of dark. I did feel just ever-so-slightly-awkward as there was only one other woman wearing basically the same thing. You have to own that shit.

Not to get off track, but who designed the Christian Herter park in Cambridge? It’s a complete fucking nightmare.

I got lost on the way to the race and ended up frantically running an unnecessary additional 2 miles because I couldn’t find the start line. I flagged down a taxi and even he could not get me there. (I paid $9 and think I actually got taken farther away from where I was initially standing.)


There’s no way to cut through the Harvard athletic complex and there’s no sidewalk… on the way home I actually got trapped on an Island in the middle of six lanes of heavy traffic. My iPhone could not tell me how to escape this Harvard-Bermuda Triangle. Look at this map and tell me this is not some fuckery. Who in the hell designed this?


I know what you are thinking, “Why not get off at Harvard Sq T stop and walk down Harvard to Western Ave to Everett? Or vise-versa?” The problem is there is a sidewalk that starts along Soldier Field. It then ends without warning and, and, and… and in this GPS vortex it’s impossible to know where you are. “Why not cut through Harvard?” Because it is an impenetrable fortress. I ended up walking around the outside of the fence on the shoulder of the road like a sad Bill Bixby at the end of The Incredible Hulk… END RANT.

Since I started writing this piece I’ve actually run the 2nd race of the Summer 5K Series via (for you Bostonians/Cambridge dwellers I highly recommend this race despite it taking place in a vortex along the Charles River–every first Thursday during the Summer–and it’s an evening race!)

I recently bought a new traditional running short (yawn) and coincidentally PR’d my 5k time missing that elusive sub-20 by just 11 seconds. (20:11/6:30 mile).

Maybe I need to create a kickstarter page and start an Athletic apparel company. Who’s in?

the tornado running short

This is my sketch… could happen, right? The Tornado Short!

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1 Comment

  • Avatar
    Reply Hurricane Muscaro August 7, 2013 at 10:58 pm

    It IS a VORTEX and a FORTRESS. I wanna see a bigger pic of those shorts! Yaaay, here’s to getting faster!

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